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Rick Burnett: Continuing "Detoxify Your Habits", with Part 3, and going through the 12 Steps, let's go on to Step 7: "Ask God to remove your shortcomings."   Dr. DiSiena would you explain this step?

Dr. Douglas DiSiena:   Yes, the quote in the book is "I will humbly ask God to remove my shortcomings."  If we can ask God to remove our shortcomings, it allows us to have an acceptance within ourselves.  Robert, tell us how this step fits within the 12 step framework.

Dr. Robert A. Schuller:  You have to remember this is the 7^th step, and as a result there are a lot of things that have been going on prior to this step.  So, now we are at a point where we have our spiritual life and Christ in a good perspective.  So, this 7^th step is more of a spiritual growth step where we have already made a list of shortcomings and now we're asking God to remove the shortcomings, or another way is to ask for God's forgiveness.   So it is a very big step where we start having spiritual internal healing - which then leads to step #8. 

Rick Burnett:  Those shortcomings, let's give a few examples.  In the book you talk about asking God to remove our sins.  Some people may not be clear what that means.

Dr. Robert A. Schuller:  First of all, I put the 12 steps into three groups.  I believe I've talked about this in our previous discussions.  The first three steps are the first grouping, I can't, He can, I can (1,2,3).  The first three steps are about our spiritual relationship with God and getting that right.  Then, we are ready to start taking action in the second grouping. We then make a fearless, moral inventory of ourselves.  That is the foundation of the action steps.  So, the first "action" step is where you list all of your sins and anything that has ever caused you any shame or embarrassment, anything in your life that you wish hadn't happened - anything you could change such as the way you treated people, etc.  Then you move on to sharing that inventory with another person, a pastor, a counselor, a close friend.  From there you grow spiritually in the Lord where you prepare yourself mentally and spiritually by reading the bible and understanding more about God to where you are able to express your concerns to God.  Then you humbly ask God to remove the shortcomings - and He does!  His word and promise is that He will do that and you discover that in Step 6 as you have prepared yourself for Step 7.  Then you're ready to move on to Step 8.

Rick Burnett:  Step 8 says: List all individuals you have harmed and be willing to make amends to them all.

Dr. Douglas DiSiena:   That step says:  "I will make a list of the people I have harmed by my past behavior and become willing to make amends."  What is great about this is that God first forgives us and then we have the ability to forgive others.  Again, that is the ADIO principle.

Dr. Robert A. Schuller:  That's exactly what it is!  You first have spiritual healing for yourself, receiving forgiveness and feeling what forgiveness is like, then you are able to allow that forgiving power to go out to others. 

Rick Burnett:  The step says "list all individuals", so are we talking about our entire life, as far back as we can remember, even to our childhood?

Dr. Robert A. Schuller:  Yes, and that's a lot of people for some people.  We all know children can be extremely cruel.  I was reading an article recently about children being "bullies."  It's a hot topic now with different laws being passed, etc.  Current surveys show that most people who are bullied, become and/or are also bullies.  There is a hierarchy of machismo and of kids taking on other kids.  Most kids are bullied at some point in their life.  I have to confess I can remember some occasions where I bullied some kids.  I'm not proud of it - it's not a happy thing.

Rick Burnett:   Did you make amends to them?

Dr. Robert A. Schuller:   I can't find them, and there are ways to deal with that.  In my book, Dump Your Hangups, I share how you deal with people who are deceased, or that you can't find, etc.  But, that's going on to the next step.  This Step, #8, is about making the list of individuals, putting it down on paper, and being willing to make amends to those people.  It doesn't say you're going to, it doesn't say you do; but you're preparing yourself mentally and spiritually by being willing to make amends.  So you make the commitment and say I will make a list of the people I have harmed by my past behavior and I will become willing to make amends.  So you pull out piece of paper and make a list!  Sometimes you can't even remember the names, but you don't have to because this is your list and you know what you're thinking about and what is in your mind and your heart and your soul.  This is a difficult step, but it is extremely healing.

Dr. Douglas DiSiena:  This is about changing the heart.  Once we change our heart, the rest expresses itself. 

Dr. Robert A. Schuller:  Therein lies the healing process of overcoming our shortcomings; of breaking through our addictions, whether it's alcohol, drugs, whether its being a workaholic, regardless of the addiction, there are lots of people who can just cut it off.  For example there are lots of people who just quit drinking overnight, they don't go through the 12 steps, but they never have another drink as long as they live.  However, they haven't changed the foundation of what caused them to drink in the first place.  What happens is they trade one addiction for another, and they dump their Hangups on somebody else.  They haven't changed their heart or received the benefit of going through the 12 steps.  They haven't received the happiness and joy and that has intended for their life.  They are missing out on a multitude of blessings and joy and peace. 

Rick Burnett: The 12 steps will bring about a thorough spiritual "house cleaning!"

Dr. Robert A. Schuller:  That's a good way to explain it!

Rick Burnett:  Step 9 says: Make amends to people you have harmed.

Dr. Douglas DiSiena:  That was a good question you had earlier, what about those people we can't get in contact with because we don't know where they are, or maybe they're deceased.  Sometimes, I've just written a letter to the person and obviously it's never mailed.  The cleansing issue or process is actually writing the letter.  God knows what's in the letter - if you're truthful within yourself.

Dr. Robert A. Schuller:   That is the best way I know - i.e., to write a letter.  You can stick it in a draw or throw it away after you've written it.  Again, the process isn't to change other people, the process is to change you.  Once you change, your relationships with other people will naturally change in the future.  You cannot change the past, it is history.  You can only change who you are today and live in the present.  As a result of that you will have a more peaceful and happy future.  So this changes you, it will not change your past.  It will and can change your future if you follow these steps!   Of course, it is better if you can face the person because nine times out of ten the person won't even know what you're talking about.  Here you've been agonizing over something and usually the person won't even remember whatever you're talking about.  In my book I use the illustration of "John", who has been a 12 stepper for I'll bet it's over 50 years now.  He explains that there was this man in his life that he felt he had to make amends to and he was very afraid because he was a big burly guy.  He finally got the nerve to go and talk to the man, and the man said: "oh, that - whatever" and made light of the incident.  John had been very concerned for a very long time and had been carrying around this heavy load and fear for such a long time.  Suddenly, the burden was gone.  So, how much baggage do we carry around in the recesses of our minds - fears, regrets and agony and suddenly facing it can lift it!